"The bloom is off the rose."
"Past your prime."
"Losing your looks."
I dislike these judgments that imply that because I'm no longer youthful that I'm of less value now. Or worse, that I've failed somehow. Like it's my responsibility to not "let myself go." As if I don't have enough to deal with these days.
I'd be lying if I said that I don't care, that I'm totally okay with getting older. I have to keep an eye on my weight now, which I never had to do before. I wonder if long hair would drag down my already sagging facial features, or if short hair would make me look matronly instead of adorably gamine. Can I still wear dark lipstick? Should I keep coloring my hair or let the silver strands take over? Sometimes I think they're beautiful.
Sometimes I think my body is more beautiful now, in a way. More voluptuous and womanly-looking. Other times I just feel frumpy and invisible. It's all about change, and change can be uncomfortable.
Mirror, mirror...
I'm at an age now where I look at women and think they are frumpy then realise they are younger than me. I think it's not so much about them letting themselves go as not making it a priority in life compared to looking after the needs of others.
ReplyDeleteHi, thanks for stopping by!
DeleteI've done that too--realized that the frumpy older woman I'm seeing is actually younger than I am. And yes, prioritizing it is absolutely a factor.
I remember a conversation I had with my mother when I was about twenty where I said something like, "how can you not care about that (later in life)?!" She laughed, and said "you just don't." That is true for me as I've gotten older--I have other priorities that are as/more important. Also, declining hormones play a role (not as interested in the mating game, lol), and it takes more effort to look good now! :-)
such a fantastic post Christine! Yes of course we care at this age and stage - perhaps in a different way where you say that our priorities change. I too feel frumpish and look a bit haggardly - not nice that space, but that too changes!
ReplyDeleteGarden of Eden Blog
Oh thank you! I was a bit nervous posting this, as this subject can be a hot-button. Also I wasn't sure I wanted to include the selfie, but I think it worked out okay.
DeleteMy experience is that the ageing of the body is often the first of many losses that come at mid-life. I think that this is such a difficult time in life because we have to let go of things we don't want to let go of.
ps I meant to say that was a great image!
ReplyDeleteOther Susan is responding to your comment on our blog .. and it was such a great comment thank you.
I love this post. You say it well! And I'm right there with ya, at 43... Oops hope noone reads that, lol!
ReplyDelete