I think that love should be simple--feel love. It seems to me that love should be easy, that loving and being loved is natural for us. But my experience is that it's more complicated than that.
I've been "in love" plenty of times, a couple of times deeply. But it didn't last. Why? What happened? Is the rest of the stuff we have to deal with in life too much for something as good as being in love?
There are times when, since I've been living with Mom, that I thought I might not love her anymore. The frustration, sadness and anger, and the fact that she doesn't seem like my mother anymore... sometimes I wonder. But I do love her. I feel it when I hug her when I put her to bed, and know that the connection is still there, that she's still there even though she's changed a lot. And I've changed a lot, and our relationship has changed profoundly. But there's still love there.
I guess I view love as a dynamic thing. It can be nurtured and grow, or it can be ignored and wither. The love between partners is different from that between a mother and a child. Or is it? For me it has been. I wish love were more simple and easy.
ReplyDeleteLiz at Bead Contagion
Thanks for stopping by! I agree about nurturing love, and I wish I'd been better at that in the past.
Delete