Monday, October 14, 2013

OctPoWriMo Day 14 prompt: Silence

Another hard one. Today's prompt invites us to write a poem about the experience of silence. Instead of using the sentence starter prompts, I decided to try a haiku. More difficult than expected!

~~~

sit listening for
dust motes drifting by on vast
eternal currents

Crap! I just realized that I got my haiku wrong when I first published this! Revising... but I'm including the original below because I actually like it better as a poem. Revised version is above. Thoughts?

 sit listening for
dust motes drifting on
vast universal currents



Posted by at

8 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 14, 2013 at 1:09 PM

    Excellent.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ron PotterOctober 14, 2013 at 1:10 PM

    I liked that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Shah WhartonOctober 15, 2013 at 6:03 AM

    I liked both! :)

    shahscribbles.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ChristineOctober 15, 2013 at 9:24 AM

      Thanks! Me too actually, though I still prefer the original version. But now that I've written a haiku I think I've fallen in love with it.

      Delete
  4. UnknownOctober 16, 2013 at 4:06 PM

    I like both but I think I like 'Eternal' currents better... there is something about infinity implied more by 'eternal' than the all encompassing implications of 'universal...'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ChristineOctober 16, 2013 at 4:10 PM

      Thanks! And now that I've got some distance from it, I think you might be right.

      Delete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)